Most of our lives we fight , we fight to win, to be successful none of us wants to fail or be rejected.
Everyone guides you how to not fail! how freely we talk about being happy , being successful, being at a great place.We take pride in discussing about our achievements, but what about failures? those dark nights? those rejections ,those heartbreaks.Why don't we feel free to talk about them?
What makes us stop? why are we afraid to talk about the path that made us who we are today! damaged or not things in the past shaped us! Failures was also a part of it. Why are we trying to hide it? why are we scared to tell that we failed that too terribly, that we made a lot of wrong choices, that we fell alot many times. Let me tell you there is freedom in accepting failure, there is peace in accepting it with a pride, to share failures too. Then only one will know that in spite of all the failures you survived that even when a part of you thought the boat is about to sunk you sailed it through, you didn't let it drown Nobody tells us that it is okay to fail , that it is perfectly normal to make wrong choices! but what is not normal is to regret those choices. Everyday we make various choices we choose to smile or to cry!( now you may think how can that be a choice? i never talked about the genuine smile!) we choose to trust someone, we choose to start a conversation! Now there will be days when someone will betray you and some days  you will betray someone. It will hurt you, but then at the end of the day life goes on and you have to understand that it is all a part of life and everyday adds on to the chapter of life , so add a new chapter "Experience". Don't give others the power to hurt you, to damage you, to affect your life! instead give them a power to teach you.Some of them can be teachers of dark nights while others can be teacher of sunshine.
It is important for you to know that this journey is long and it aint easy! there will be rough times, there will be storms , there will be dark days!
but at the end what will matter is that you survived
So don't just live to see success but also failures , because you will never know how the top feels until you hit rock bottom.

Just A Thought!

What is pain?The dictionary defines it as highly unpleasant physical sensation caused due to injury or sickness.

It does not talk about the pain we go through when we are injured inside. Who do we trust with those shattered piece of glasses ,which has high potential of cutting someone real deep.
When you are broken inside all you read or listen about it, is that only you can fix yourself , only you have the power, but do you really have strength? I never really understood this concept of fixing own self. It is almost like asking the tree whose branch we just chopped to just stick back to its chopped branch if it pains that much and to be optimistic because only we can fix ourselves . Yes the tree grows itself back, again and that too on its own, but it takes really long for it to grow back and in that process it loses a part, a part of itself. It may seem normal to people , but only tree knows what it has lost.
And that is what exactly happens to us. when we go through the period of immense pain and everything in life seems to fall down and all this world asks you to be is patient, positive and optimistic ( yes there are morons who mock at you but trust me not worth even a second) but you know  that deep within you are dying. Yes you are mature and you know it is gonna pass, that this is just a phase and it will be over (at least that is what you tell yourself), but what if it is not a phase but your reality, what if when they say it is gonna pass what they actually mean is that with time you will just accept it more so that it just gives you an illusion that it is over. What if the fight you are fighting is just an illusion, just a perception. What if there is no war , there is no battleground. What if it has always been you and just you. You up against yourself! no matter how hard you try, you have to kill either of yourself , that winning means losing and the other way round. No matter how hard you try no matter how long this fight goes on for you will always end up killing a part of yourself.

The Rented Smile ! Do you know some of us  out of many people are wearing a rented smile, really? Rented? what is a smile exactly  ,where do we get it for rent? how do we pay? Smile is a pleased facial expression, now at least this is what the dictionary says. But some of us happen to wear a smile, for the world and not because we genuinely feel it.Thus instead of finding the true happiness  we rent it.When we get too busy fighting life we lose the real essence of happiness thereby we take a shorter route.We wear a smile during the day and when the night comes and nobody is looking we  pay rent by shedding some tear, by being vulnerable, by being afraid. Why would we rent something so small as smile and that too at such a cost? It is as simple as that, when in life we have broken dreams, rejections, failures, we don't really know whom to trust with our broken self, so we choose to be safe, we choose to wear a smile! to shut ourselves and  when the night comes, all we are left is with a soul that is still broken, someone who is still afraid. But you have to stop! I know it is addictive, to pretend to be merry. At the end of the day you should know that you deserve true joy and whatever it is, it shall pass with time because when the good time doesn't stay forever how can the bad time stay for long. I know that right now it may not seem possible  but trust me there is a sunshine waiting even if it takes months for the sun to rise it will. It is easy to give in to all the negativity but it takes real courage to overcome it, so be that warrior, the knight because happiness just don't happen to knock at your door, you have to fight for it, look out for it, have the vision to see the light when nobody can so that you don't have to Rent a Smile.

What is the meaning of ignorant?
Well in dictionary it says discourteous or rude.
We all will agree with it, sometimes we are ignorant and most of the times others are ignorant .We have to admit it kinda hurts, doesnt it? like here we are tring to talk or do something or being nice to this person and look at them they are so ignorant! they dont even acknowledge us.
Being unnoticed hurts, doesnt it? to not be able to be recognised by someone who somehow holds importance in our lives (not talking about major importance just a little will also do).
But do we ever think why that person is ignorant? surely they did not born this way like c'mon that will b crazy!  we all are born like same literally. But time, series of events shape us as a person and yes importantly our choices finally makes us who we are.How do we become an ignorant person? it is very simple, really! not at all complicated, you remeber the time you did not think it was important to say thank you to the waiter or the time you failed to aknowledge your teacher or the day you thought complimenting someone will be so creepy or may be not your standard or the time you thought thank you was implied, that very moment you helped that person to climb one stair for becoming an ignorant human.We often forget this small detail, what might be small for us may be big for someone. When we take those decisons we change another person's view, we help them become ignorant and gradually they become ignorant in their life as whole.
You know becoming discourteous or rude doesnt give happiness or joy to anyone ,in fact it hurts them more than it hurts you,but by being ignorant they protect themselves from what they did to you that is "ignore"
Ironic!
I am writing this because i have been through it and also i have done it with others too and trust me this does not stop,you ignore them, they in return ignore someone else and this goes on.The only way you can stop it is by not doing what someone did to you, that is ignore.
So compliment others, aknowledge their presence, say thank you to the janitor, appreciate someones effort even if it is small and see how it will bring smile on their faces, how that small gesture will change them, even if it will be tiny one and u never know may be they will not be ignorant
to someone elses effort for them.

Lies
What does a lie mean? we all have our versions of what does a lie mean. for some of us it means that we are protecting the other person from something that could harm them for other it means an easy escape for someone it is not an option
To be honest we choose the meaning of word lie according to the situation. given it us we always want to know the truth bad or good we expect people to be honest with us just like we are with them. Wait a minute we were honest? but didn't the last time you told them they were playing the sports well even when they weren't oh that was just in their best interest wasn't it doesn't count as a lie. Oh yeah we were pretty much honest that time too when we cancelled the plan at the last moment oh that wasn't a lie either because it was in your best interest.
It is ironic really because when we seek advice from our friends or closed ones we expect them to be honest even when it is gonna hurt us because we want to become better we want to take in the negative feedback because that is in our best interest or when someone else cancel last moment we expect them to inform us before hand and not at the end moment.
But what really is a lie?
Lie is that one powerful word that can change your image your relationship with someone it will look like the easiest way but it will end up in worst ways. But once we are lied upon we are left questioned we start to rethink every statement that given person has said all of sudden even their genuine words become lies and that very moment we decide that this person from now on will only lie to us even if they don't. Now let us think deeper when we lie we expect others to understand we expect them to not judge and move on from it real quick. We make the rules we make the definitions we choose to judge others even what they really do is what we did to others even to them may be.
I am not encouraging anyone to lie or to hurt someone from blunt truth .Be a real person tell them where they went wrong add a little positive side to it help them become better than bitter. Sometimes we lie unintentionally but it is never too late to come clean.What I am trying to say is that we all want to be understood for whatever we do but when it comes our turn we rush to conclusions we don't want to give another chance but we always want second chances second time.

From the very beginning to the end who are we living for? whose dream are we fullfilling? are we content? sometime thinking about  our childhood the one thing we  recall is how we would freely dream. Some days we would wanna become model the other days we would wanna become doctor and this would never end.The want of becoming something or the other would just go on and on , nobody would stop us nobody would tell us how hard it is to achive those dreams, may be because we are too small to understand the reality of the world. But as we grow our want to become those star like dreams becomes to fade. We start to face real world real problems and somehow we are not
ready to give it what it takes. We are afraid what others would say, we are held back by our insecurities by the thought of what the society would think about us if we fail.So we choose the other way, we choose the road that others think is best for us and somehow we manage to believe, that yes!that is way easier than walking on the path of achieving our dream. This will make everyone happy even if that does not include me.What are we afraid of? failures? things we would have to listen if we fall? now just forget that and think what about those days when you will regret not being at the place you belong, when you will have monday blues because you are tired of living others dream.
Failure is part of everyone's life, it is just like seasons you cannot live your whole life in sunny days, there will be rainy days, days of spring  and autumn too. Some days you will achieve what you wanted and the other days you will fail terribly. Do not take decisions in your life thinking that this will lead to assured happiness and success because life is  uncertain sometimes the thing we think will surely lead to pardise is the one slowly taking us to hell.So dont kill yourself everyday, every dream of yours is worth a try and every path has its own ups and downs. Don't miss out on life because every second that passes by is not coming back so dont wait for the right time make this moment the right moment.You may fall a couple atimes but lets be serious who hasnt failed in their life? we all have but with  that every failure you learn a lesson that makes you stronger and better.

Is it ego to fight for yourself?
Does it make you selfish to want to be happy? to stand for yourself. It is funny ! really it is, how easily people judge you and your character when everyday they, themselves make choices that makes them happy. Why do we do the thing we do every single day is it to satisfy others or to satisfy ourselves? answer is simple even when we say that we did it for someone else we don't really mean it is all a cover , all of us at the end of the day do things that we want to do, that makes us happy.
Isn't it selfishness? to give it another's name. Oh yeah! we usually do it because if somehow things go wrong we can easily throw the blame on the other person. All of us become selfish when it comes to our happiness we choose what we think is best for us. Then why hide ourselves , hide who we are? Are you afraid of the people? people who are like you?
Why do we judge others when all they did was, what they wanted to do and what made them happy and most importantly they had the courage and honesty to say it was their own decision, even when things went wrong.
Isn't being happy our right something we want throughout our lives? if seeing them happy makes you furious, makes you wanna call them names, then it is not them but you who is selfish. If you really care and loved them then  would set them free , let them fly make their own choices let them be selfish and when you will do so that free bird will come back to you and you will see the most humble and kind person. Don't we all in our hearts are ready to give up somethings in life ready to change ready to bend ready to let others make choice but first we need to see if you are ready to let them be selfish if for you seeing them happy is important.

Stronger? Really?
What is the real definition of being strong? I guess we all have our own meanings for the word strong our own versions, that somehow tells our story of hardships.
For some people being strong is facing a difficulties all by themselves, even if it leaves them with all bruises, for some people it is sharing their problems with their closed ones and for some people they share stories with random people.The word strong is pretty much complexed it is not just about facing a rough situation but it is a reaction lead by the process of how we choose to be strong.
Whether we want to face it alone or ask others advice , about trusting ourselves or others , having faith in ourselves or not , and most importantly on how we see the world , do we see the black side or the white side or grey side. So whenever we try to be strong we are not only talking about the current situation but also how we face the coming events.How we will see the world now, after the bad day is over. Often we have faced a situation where we say we are strong but what we actually mean is that we are vulnerable and weak that we are really scared and want to break down but don't really know if it is okay to surrender? to breakdown ? we are somehow taught that crying, breaking down is a weakness and it is something one should not do.
Really? Is it so? Only a strong person can cry and confess that he is scared , that he is feeling weak and  what makes him strong is that he has courage to be weak. How many of us can do that?
Crying is not a bad thing sometimes when you cry you let your emotions out you feel liberated , free from everything and that gives you power to be strong.Sometimes being strong can cost us with scars that can never heal, damages we will never want to show anyone but you will be strong in real sense when you show those broken pieces of yourself to someone who really cares and let them fix you.
Being strong doesn't only means to face hard times with a smile but also to accept that it is okay to be afraid .

What is distance? is it the physical space between you and me ? the distance we see with our eyes something we can measure. How easily do we judge the status of our relationship with someone by being calculative about how close they are to us! but is it really the right thing to do?

I chose this image because for me this is what distance means.

It beautifully shows how sun and moon being so far yet they are so close, without the sun the moon wont shine even when they cant both rise together they make sure they feel each others presence. One cannot imagine moon without the sun and vice versa.

Everyday we meet people we talk to them we hangout with them we have a nice time , but when you are alone who are you willing to talk? who do you think is close to you? someone who stays next to you?  or someone who stays a little far away.

If you really want to measure the distance between you and someone then just close your eyes and think, can I act crazy with them? can I cry in front of them? can I show all the sides of me and they will just understand, if yes, then  this calculative distance is nothing. Sometimes we are way too close to someone physically but mentally we are living in two different worlds and then no matter how hard you try to keep your relation going it will eventually fall apart,

Broaden your vision and see through your heart and soul how close you really are with someone or how far they are from you. 

Acceptance
I never knew that the other meaning for it is freedom!
When someone accepts you just the way you are it is the best feeling in the world. All of sudden you feel like doing better and better you feel free from all the insecurities you had been holding .
Even being imperfect starts looking like being perfect.
Most of the time we deny the fact that we don't want to be accepted we like how we are and it is others problem if they cant deal with it! but really? don't we at least  want that one person who keeps their hands wide open and is ready to hold on to your craziness and match with it instead.
Acceptance is one of the most important link of being in love. Accepting not just flaws but to accept you when you are broken even when they know it will take a while to fix you.
The word acceptance indeed holds a lot of deeper meaning to it. 

Love is the most misunderstood word. Now you may think why? I knew the meaning of love ever since I can remember (my first crush in school or first romantic movie I watched in which they showed so called Ideal Love)
But often in the hustle of finding the True love of our life we forget the real meaning of love. Love is not something you can have for someone you desire to enter into a relationship, it is indeed deeper than that. Love is of various kinds and we usually focus on one kind of love i.e EROS: the love we have for someone we want to get intimate with. But what about the people we see everyday? their gestures? We are so engrossed on our first crush, first relationship , first rebound that we almost forget that love is a word that has no bounds it is limitless just like the sky. We overlook the people who genuinely loves us and most importantly they love us for being us and not somebody else.
Our parents are the greatest examples of Love. They love us from the very moment we born to the day we made our first huge mistakes and then to the long strings of events of mistakes either new or repeated. They unconditionally love us giving us infinite chances for improvement. Love for food , yes you heard me right I am talking about food! I love food and you know why ? It is that one thing I can make according to my taste and it never fails to make me feel better . The word  Love is not being romantic but it is being rational. If you truly love someone you just don't overlook their flaws but you make their flaws their strength and with everyday passing you make them better version of themselves. And that is why it is important for us to love ourselves before we love someone else because until you don't love yourself enough you cannot actually fall in love , even if you think you are in love you are not!
So take a while and look around yourself and acknowledge the love you get and let them know you feel blessed even if it is not your crush showing you love.

Is It Too Late To Say Sorry?

In our one small life we have millions of times asked for forgiveness, said sorry even when we didn't mean it. Most of the times we say sorry to just close the matter to just shut it! All of us expect to be forgiven without even meaning sorry! But when it is our chance to forgive we often forget it how this cycle works. It is my request not to ask for apology if you don't mean it because all of this has made us loose the real essence of forgiveness and apology. Even when someone genuinely says sorry we don't believe them and there goes your relationship with them. With that just 5 letters word we loose what we really had and you know why? the sorry wasn't real and neither the forgiveness! This is sin I am telling you! With every meaningless sorry, you also loose something and that is trust. And then there are  some people who are so adamant that they don't say sorry ever not even when it is not their fault. For them saying sorry is rusting their personality then you should know one thing saying sorry when it is your fault and when you mean it doesn't make you small rather makes you a big you know why? because you had the courage to accept your fault and say sorry for it. Tell me how many of us have courage to do that?
We often think sorry is a simple word but it is one of the most complicated word because over using results in losing trust  and not using it at all results in losing our own respect. To have the perfect combination of that very moment to say sorry and us to actually accept our fault is something we dare not to miss. Doesn't it fascinates you how such a simple world involves such a big calculations. Who knew that even life has its own maths and may be that is why we fail in it everyday!

Choices like a Robot

We have only one life and most of us spend it by choosing same things again and again. We think it is in our best interest. But by doing so you confine yourself , you somehow stop yourself to explore different possibilities. I know that not all of the possibilities are positive but then not all the possibilities are negative and when we will choose something that turns out bad we gain experience and also we can aware others about it and  if it turns out good we will be proud of ourselves  looking at it this way will be more encouraging.

Here is my part of story , I spent years with a friend thinking she will show up in every step of my life, thinking that I don't need anybody else because I had one power bank but little did I know that this life is full of uncertainties and that we all sometimes break our promises, even pinky promises. And when things turned ugly I realized that all those years I confined my world to her and didn't really had anyone else to call as friend and  I had to start all over again. I learnt life's biggest lesson and that was,  we live in a very vast world full of options we choose from daily. But with our mind so set on that one single thing we think is perfect for us we have forgotten how crucial is it for us to make the right choice. Do not confine yourself let yourself loose and breathe the fresh air try new things make different choices everyday. Open up yourself form your own self. Life is too short to live it like a robot set to same lifestyle .

Not Ashamed

I spent a part of my teenage years being ashamed of who I was, what my color was like, what my behavior was like. It was not me who was actually ashamed but people forcing me to think so and you know worst of it I let them make me believe I was that bad.
I still remember my friend being upset after a guy passed on a comment on her body figure and therefore refused to be friend with her ! It took me really long to figure out that she wasn't the one with the flaw but they were, not because they were dark or too smart but because they had a broken vision.You know why that other person affects your mind? it is because somehow you had that little insecurity within you and now that someone pointed it out, you all of sudden start thinking it is true!
So here is the truth, yes you are not perfect and so is nobody, all of us have something in our lives that we are bad at,  something that we feel insecure about and it is okay to have it.
Don't hold on to what someone has told you about 'YOU' .
At the end of the day it is your life your matter your decisions. Nobody takes perfect decisions we all fail many atimes but it is important to accept it and look at it with a positive aspect. Don't let anyone tell you that you are not good enough we don't come to this one life to please others but to lease our self. So if next time someone tells you that you are not good looking or you make a lot of mistakes tell them " I am not Ashamed " because I learn and make mistakes everyday.Dont let anyone make you live the life they think is perfect rather live your life on your own terms.

Runner

I was a runner
I chose to ran away from pain , failures, rejections, my fears and you know what? you can run miles and miles away from everything but it will only just get worst you may think you have conquered it but actually what you did is what actually ostrich does when they think someone will hunt them that is they dig their heads underground thinking nobody will see them but little do they know that by blinding yourself and fool own self and nobody else!
Many of us spend our lives running away from truth, from reality and yet losing many things behind.
We choose to not confront some really important issues of our lives and when you are so busy at running you loose something really important and that is time! we loose a lot of time and that too on weakening our inner self ! yes you heard me , when you are trying so hard to hide yourself away from pain , fear, truth you weaken yourself you develop insecurities and you start thinking that everyone and everything in the world is trying to pinch you on your wound.
All of us have failed, all of us have had rejections, all of us have gone through some really bad times so what are you afraid about ? what are you ashamed of? why are you running?
stop!! stop yourself from running and face the reality face what is in front of you it may pain for a while but trust me it will make u stronger and all that time you could have been running now you could use that to build your own self
We all have our shares of dark nghts, choice is yours, for how long are you willing to close your eyes out of fear or are you ready to even see in the dark
The choice is yours

SACRIFICE

What is sacrifice?Is it when you let your sister take the last piece of chocolate? or is it when you let your partner change you?

Everyone of us have sacrificed and gave up things we loved things we wanted ,for someone we love sometimes even because someone forced us. But the question is for whom shall we sacrifice? how do we know it is the right person.As far as I can remember I have scraficed a lot but mostly for wrong people. And when you sacrifice for the wrong person you let go a part of yourself with that sacrifice and something you can never bring back. People may say that person who sacrifice is the one who has big heart but only few knows the one who sacrifices is the one killing his so called big heart everytime he sacrifices. He may not tell you but he is dying for you to say that its ok don't sacrifice I am ready to do this time for you.

How many of you have ever stopped someone from letting go something for you? Is it the only way one can show how much they love you? And trust me when you will tell someone don't sacrifice it for me just see the smile on their faces that piece of their heart they were letting go becomes more fuller and that sacrifice becomes the bond of your relationship

Happiness

Is happiness really our choice?
We all have come across a lot of quotes telling us that happiness is our choice, it is like a decision we choose to make every second of the day, to be happy or not.
But then this brings us on to a question,If it really is a choice or a decision we make , then why are  some people feel upset, why are we not all feeling the same? Why would anyone want to choose to be not happy. Isn't being happy a good feeling. Why suffer from anxiety, depression, insecurity, jealousy , any other negative emotion? why does it feels like a never ending quest a struggle for life to fight to be happy.
I am asking you to take a moment to pause and analyse as to what you truly are feeling as an emotion in any situation. Are you in control as to what you feel? or is it something that comes naturally to you.Very few of us know happiness also has its stages, one could call them Phases Of Joy. We all tend to think of happiness as a simple phenomena, but it is as complicated as any other word, it really is. Happiness the emotion we can feel in various situations and in varied ways, one can be when we are a little satisfied about something, such an emotion can last for minutes or hour, then there is happiness that we earn forever it has a lifelong impression, and somewhere in middle is happiness that we often ignore and end up taking for granted.
Coming back to square one, Is really happiness an option, Well it is rather the choice we let ourselves see. With every situation hitting us up on daily basis we have to either choose to look at the darker side or at the brighter side. To either be upset about it or be happy. Now the catch here is you can feel any of the emotions and it wont change a thing, but what will really decide the future course will be how you learn and grow from the challenges you face every second. I mean all of us have different ways to react to situations, however we should all focus on as to what can we do later on, the remedy, the conclusive of that event. Are we moving on learning nothing or are we taking our lessons.

1st post

let me start by saying hello!
hello everyone
i am a bit nervous since it is my first blog , words dont come to my mind easily!
i had millions of words in mind to write but now all i feel is like a small baby going to his school figuring out what school is like
i never thought i would ever write! but ever since i lost almost everything these words are the only thing i trust and comforting.
when the darkness of night takes away your sleep all you have songs played repeatedly and words to write.
that is what my blog will be about.
i hope you all like it and that somehow in some way connect with me
thank you