Trying to fit in

Nobody tells you to be yourself, to be comfortable being you. They all try to make u fit into the rules or conditions this society has made for you. They expect you to look hot or to look decent  or to be intellectual or to be a topper or to be sophisticated and certainly they don't look for a change or regarded as imperfection.They fit u into a category of certain colour or gender  or religon and expect you to behave accordingly and somehow you are able to convince yourself that this is you! This how you should be or should feel like. If you had a heartbreak you should be sad or at rage, if u failed in academics you should feel sobby, feel bad about yourself. Nobody tells you to be not so sophisticated or to be crazy  or not to do certain stuff simply because you are not into it. As per them if you don’t agree to their norms which the so educated and know it all society has already built that are  so rigid that one can think of iron as flexible item but not the rules they got for you, you will be an example of imperfection at utmost. Don’t end up living a life which you did not choose for yourself which doesn’t consider your happiness. Is it worth giving up who you really are for something so small that doesn’t consider you as an individual but considers you as one of the sheeps in flock. Break the stereo type . Be weird be boring be entertaining be that not so sophisticated lady or that emotional man because after all we make the society not the society makes us.

Damaging oneself!

Most of us have the habit of over thinking and, now please dont say that you think real and practical scenarios because let us be real the stories you weave when you are deep into thinking didn't even existed untill you started thinking about your so called practical situations. Sitting idol lets think, lying down not sleepy lets think, got a situation to face lets think! we probably have this mindset that if we think deeper about our problems we will solve them effeciently and also the fact that thinking deep makes us wise! but let us be real, none of the above situation is helpful! why? because thinking your decisions through and thinking till you start thinking off topic are way two different things. You see when you are deep into thinking you give rise to various situations that would not even happen and are highly hypothetical and came to your mind probably because of the things you watch or see. None of it will help you in any way! here is why, firstly you are thinking of things that are not even real so high chances are they are not even gonna happen; secondly, you have a situaton to face and all you are doing is think and not work so high chances are you will end up making the problem bigger because you were busy solving the issues in your brain that did not ever happened; thirdly, when your current situation is not solved how will your future which you think you are taking care of be fine?and lastly you are damaging yourself in a way you don't even know yourself!
Now here is how to handle such situations, dont sit idle  hustle harder, make every second count not by thinking  but by doing things in short! work it out. When you have situations to face dont think about things that may happen as its consequence but face it! come up with alternative solutions and keep trying. When you are not sleepy then do something productive build yourself in that free time because let us be real when it comes upon building yourself you probably have never done that because you are here thinking of scenarios instead of working it out! Come out with things you want to work on about yourself. Time is not going to stop for anyone of us, so do not waste it by just thinking. Don't stop yourself from becoming the best version of yourself and let us be practical none of us are living perfect lives we all are fighting our own fights, not everytime is going to be a happening time which is why it is said that to die is easy but to live is hard , so now you have  a choice to make to yourself wether you want to kill every moment that you live by thinking or kill this life by standing up to situations and fighting your way through.

Perfecting Imperfection

From childhood it is embedded within us to chase after perfection, for instance when you get 9.5 your parents would ask you where did that 0.5 mark go? or in a relationship when as soon as the rough phase comes, we just start playing blame game and then blame it all upon the messy love theories for not having perfect relationship or when it comes to our career we chase after being at the top.
In this chase of life we often forget ourselves, we forget to live our lives. We spent most of our life being like our idols. We chase for perfection when being perfect is all about finding true selves, facing the rough phase, accepting failures and embracing the flaws. It is about to not blindly follow something because the society  expects you to be like it or trying hard to become like someone. Be who you are , wake up everyday and admire yourself, accept all the wrong decisions you made, stand up to face the  consequences. Stop running ,stop following something that society has already built  for you and just take a break. Just give some days to yourself ,discover your own self. It may sound uncanny like? who have I been living as ? it sounds funny to me too because I am like oh c'mon I bought that stuff according to my likes or I did so because I wanted to. But just think deeper, didn't  you chose certain subject because that is what you were expected to do. And I find it very judging because as soon as you stop living the way society expects you to all of a sudden you sound strange to them and insensible, which is why very few of us have the courage to become ourselves, to be proud about all those mistakes , those disappointing situations. We are ever ready to accept favourable results happily with a pride in fact we show it off!.Don't live a life that was made for you or expected of you, step out of the zone, live for yourself make your decisions! yes major ones too,make mistakes learn from them ,own it ! after all life is all about discovering our super complicated souls. And know this bad or good decisions you make learn from them, success or failure learn to take it with a pride, hustle but not according to what others have to say but as per yourself.

new year new me?

I have done this a couple of times taken  resolution that I am going to change myself or I am going to do this and not become that person I was or used to be. I mean tonnes of resolutions. It took me real long time to realise none of this matters no 1st January is going to be a new year or a new beginning for me until I realise from within that everyday can be a new day,every morning can  be  a bright morning if I want it to be. All I have to do is commit to myself, to fall completely in love  with myself to admire each and every imperfections I have ,to not find  new reasons everyday to love someone else instead become that someone else.All of this time I was investing myself on different things.I tried to find the missing piece of my puzzle in someone else's and I constantly failed, I failed terribly to make them happy or to be happy myself  and the day I stopped trying to do so they left, leaving me to think over and over again why would someone leave? just because I stopped trying so hard to make them happy? no it wasn't the reason. It was because I did not love myself. I did not realize that I was that missing piece of my puzzle, only I could make myself happy. Only I could fill in my insecurities. Nobody can love you until you love yourself nobody will respect you until you respect yourself people will tell you that you are fat, ugly , not lovable, not sweet, not caring and infinite things but nothing can affect you, if you know that you are perfect, even that broken piece that stays within you is beautiful,to take pride in failures, to embrace yourself , to be confident to show your crazy side. The day you start admiring yourself  everyday is going to be a new day every midnight is going to be new years midnight and then you will not have to wait for 31st December to find your new self or make new resolutions rather you will be discovering your new side every day of your life.Then everyday will add on to the chapter of your life.

Most of our lives we fight , we fight to win, to be successful none of us wants to fail or be rejected.
Everyone guides you how to not fail! how freely we talk about being happy , being successful, being at a great place.We take pride in discussing about our achievements, but what about failures? those dark nights? those rejections ,those heartbreaks.Why don't we feel free to talk about them?
What makes us stop? why are we afraid to talk about the path that made us who we are today! damaged or not things in the past shaped us! Failures was also a part of it. Why are we trying to hide it? why are we scared to tell that we failed that too terribly, that we made a lot of wrong choices, that we fell alot many times. Let me tell you there is freedom in accepting failure, there is peace in accepting it with a pride, to share failures too. Then only one will know that in spite of all the failures you survived that even when a part of you thought the boat is about to sunk you sailed it through, you didn't let it drown Nobody tells us that it is okay to fail , that it is perfectly normal to make wrong choices! but what is not normal is to regret those choices. Everyday we make various choices we choose to smile or to cry!( now you may think how can that be a choice? i never talked about the genuine smile!) we choose to trust someone, we choose to start a conversation! Now there will be days when someone will betray you and some days  you will betray someone. It will hurt you, but then at the end of the day life goes on and you have to understand that it is all a part of life and everyday adds on to the chapter of life , so add a new chapter "Experience". Don't give others the power to hurt you, to damage you, to affect your life! instead give them a power to teach you.Some of them can be teachers of dark nights while others can be teacher of sunshine.
It is important for you to know that this journey is long and it aint easy! there will be rough times, there will be storms , there will be dark days!
but at the end what will matter is that you survived
So don't just live to see success but also failures , because you will never know how the top feels until you hit rock bottom.

Just A Thought!

What is pain?The dictionary defines it as highly unpleasant physical sensation caused due to injury or sickness.

It does not talk about the pain we go through when we are injured inside. Who do we trust with those shattered piece of glasses ,which has high potential of cutting someone real deep.
When you are broken inside all you read or listen about it, is that only you can fix yourself , only you have the power, but do you really have strength? I never really understood this concept of fixing own self. It is almost like asking the tree whose branch we just chopped to just stick back to its chopped branch if it pains that much and to be optimistic because only we can fix ourselves . Yes the tree grows itself back, again and that too on its own, but it takes really long for it to grow back and in that process it loses a part, a part of itself. It may seem normal to people , but only tree knows what it has lost.
And that is what exactly happens to us. when we go through the period of immense pain and everything in life seems to fall down and all this world asks you to be is patient, positive and optimistic ( yes there are morons who mock at you but trust me not worth even a second) but you know  that deep within you are dying. Yes you are mature and you know it is gonna pass, that this is just a phase and it will be over (at least that is what you tell yourself), but what if it is not a phase but your reality, what if when they say it is gonna pass what they actually mean is that with time you will just accept it more so that it just gives you an illusion that it is over. What if the fight you are fighting is just an illusion, just a perception. What if there is no war , there is no battleground. What if it has always been you and just you. You up against yourself! no matter how hard you try, you have to kill either of yourself , that winning means losing and the other way round. No matter how hard you try no matter how long this fight goes on for you will always end up killing a part of yourself.

The Rented Smile ! Do you know some of us  out of many people are wearing a rented smile, really? Rented? what is a smile exactly  ,where do we get it for rent? how do we pay? Smile is a pleased facial expression, now at least this is what the dictionary says. But some of us happen to wear a smile, for the world and not because we genuinely feel it.Thus instead of finding the true happiness  we rent it.When we get too busy fighting life we lose the real essence of happiness thereby we take a shorter route.We wear a smile during the day and when the night comes and nobody is looking we  pay rent by shedding some tear, by being vulnerable, by being afraid. Why would we rent something so small as smile and that too at such a cost? It is as simple as that, when in life we have broken dreams, rejections, failures, we don't really know whom to trust with our broken self, so we choose to be safe, we choose to wear a smile! to shut ourselves and  when the night comes, all we are left is with a soul that is still broken, someone who is still afraid. But you have to stop! I know it is addictive, to pretend to be merry. At the end of the day you should know that you deserve true joy and whatever it is, it shall pass with time because when the good time doesn't stay forever how can the bad time stay for long. I know that right now it may not seem possible  but trust me there is a sunshine waiting even if it takes months for the sun to rise it will. It is easy to give in to all the negativity but it takes real courage to overcome it, so be that warrior, the knight because happiness just don't happen to knock at your door, you have to fight for it, look out for it, have the vision to see the light when nobody can so that you don't have to Rent a Smile.