What Being Single Really Is Like?

Well at first it does not come as a beautiful experience like endless nights of cribbing over the past, talking out to your closed ones about your ex partner and explaining why both of you were not fit for each other and list goes on! In short post break up is not a smooth ride because it comes with tonnes of decision makings which one is not ready to make. 

It looks convenient to fall into the societal trap of never being single,yes you heard me right I am not saying that finding the right partner is wrong, but  all I am saying is that we are so used to being with someone that we do not take time to process our lives. 

Instead we hop onto from one relationship to another, we do not give ourselves the chance to heal, rather try to find someone else who could do it for us. That looks way more convenient. and why not? after all there is so many offers in the market I mean casual dating, serious relationship, one night hook ups or friends with benefits and fear not even people are also labeled as commodity, like the cute one, the handsome one, the sexy one, the hot one, the flirty one, the horny one and so you can like go out and pick any of the arrangement that suits you. Did you see what I did here? I just listed the most captivating world possible to you and it looked so fascinating and  you might think to yourself oh yeas I have definitely done this or that. But here is the thing, this is like a vicious cycle it never ends and it ends up making your life repetitive and monotonous. You may ask why? , then give me the honors.
While moving on from one to another what you forget about is the real world problems. You are so caught up into your own life that you do not really think about anything! not even your real self!. I know this is confusing. What I mean is going on dates or movies or anything really, makes you want to dress best, to look best, to be a good at conversations, from one date to another or from one person to another you just forget about your real worth. I am not saying that trying to search for the right person is wrong, honestly I am all up for it.
But do not forget about yourself in the process, learn about yourself,  know who you really are and do you even really like doing this or you are doing it because everyone else is doing it? do you want to end up living a life where high school problems take on your adult life and you miss out your own potential and ability to bring a change. To know what is going on in the world right now. I would be pretty honest with you when I was with someone I was a shallow person, I was so involved in it that I did not really care about what was happening around me or in fact in any part of the world and I do not blame anyone but myself for it. Being single gave me the time to know what a blessing and a responsibility it is to be a woman and how much there is to do in the world. This world does not need high school problems but needs a little bit of our time, if we could truly invest in it by helping other being kind to others being humble being true to our self and most importantly doing things that we really want to do.
Do not let the world bind you to make you do things that it calls normal do the extra ordinary be shameless and have the belief and trust upon your decisions. If you are having hard time finding the one to love  then why do not you spread love to the people around you and be a support. I am pretty sure nobody will be damaged.

What it takes to live a life when you have faced Failures and been into Depression

The journey of failing or depression not being that easy comes with a life full of challenges. It is not at all easy to live, not because you failed or were depressed but because the way people treat you after they know certain things about you. They call you out for your fallouts constantly ,remind you of where you were and may be also why you deserved to be there. Some will say you faked being in depression others would say you failed because you were meant to fail. They will lash out on you often ,for your past for all those wrong choices you made, for all those time you gave up and especially in a world where mental illness is a joke and not taken seriously it becomes really difficult to open up and survive, because constantly you will be reminded that you do not fit in or that you are not normal. You do not deserve to be alive the life you are living. Some people will tag you as rude or closed or stone hearted and some might even leave. People will have great difficulty to understand the person you are and the person you perspire to become.
But hey! nobody said it was easy right? the way I look at it is that have been the one who has faced depression and lot of failures you are the chosen one. You do not see everyone in your situation do you? your life is unique and different. It is not like everyone else's, which is why people will have hard time understanding you or your journey. But you have to know nobody can harm you until you let them. If one thing those rough times should teach then it should be that do not loose yourself so easy. It took a tug of war to fight those dark times and giving up on what people have to say, does not seem like worthy enough.
Yes they will come at you talk about your life like they knew how it felt like it was nothing but only you shall know its true worth. Now that you have finally come out of the dark zone you should be able to own to it and happily accept for what it was better or worst because it makes you the person you are. May be right now people around you do not understand but hey it is your life you are not living to get validation from others. Work on yourself everyday ! work on  to try to become better and better not that you are not good enough right now, but that this world is huge and has so many issues going on that is not going anywhere soon and your story is just a tiny part of it so why not contribute your tiny share to a better world. A world of hopes a world of no judgments a world full of admiration and positivity a world where you and me are no different we are just souls wandering for vast knowledge this universe hold a world where everyone has a shelter a voice and most importantly themselves.
We can do this only if we stop thinking about the petty issues others have to say.

#METOO

A movement that is started by a woman who was harassed at some point of her life and wants others to share it too as the world sees the magnitude of the harassment every woman goes through in her life time.

It is a great movement I am all up for it. I have not come across any single women who has never been harassed at any point of her life. But then why do they keep quiet? why are they not raising their voice. well let me tell you what goes through a woman's mind when she first comes across such an experience, we are built to first be alarmed by the very man who has been sending negative signals and when something bad occurs as a normal person would we want to raise voice and fight back. We want to shout and do something about it. Here comes the truth only a small potion of women are able to raise their voice whereas majority keeps calm and  try to forget the unforgetful event and blame their own self for it and who knows may be shut themselves forever. The harassment could take place in any manner, it could be physically and mentally.

It is easy for people to say that you should raise awareness and voice against such people, but then my question is who is listening to us? as soon as the news of the mishappening spreads the very first reaction that comes from it shame and pointing fingers at girls character, clothes, things she is into, it is like all her doings till that very day is being read and judged by many. All of a sudden everything changes. she is made to say goodbye to her old self and forced to become someone she did not sign up for. We live in a world where many people still blame women for the cause of such an event. we live in a world where women are given a set of instructions to follow to restrict herself to mark boundaries to be not completely free to be cautious every second to not be drunk to be not independent, and you know why? because this society has failed to raise MEN, instead they gave birth to a community that sees everyone less than them, where they are not taught how to behave in front of women how to respect women how to not feel any less manly if a woman is their boss how to know that they are equals and it is not the women that should taught but the very men.

SHE

She was born in a village, at the age of playing and reading books she was handed over utensils and tools of farming. She was not given lessons to go out and live in the world but she was given lessons to survive bad monsoon. When puberty hit her she was not told anything about her hygiene or how to deal with those mensuration cramps rather she was told that those days of the month made her impure for some kind. It almost felt like that having mensuration was her fault and not a gift from nature.
She was not given any right to decide for her life married off to a man who said yes to her, little did anyone ask if it was yes from her side. She was handed over to a man she did not know, never seen before however she was taught to serve him for life. She was taught to be a good wife and daughter in law, it looked like modern day slavery but how would she know ? books were unknown to her. She was expected to feel blessed because she was accepted by this Nobel man in spite of the fact that she was dark and rejected by many men before. She was made felt like rejected and tempered goods who someone took for heavy discounts.
Still she accepted her fate with a smile on her face. little did anyone know that they had given birth to a warrior a knight that was hard to defeat. She conquered everything that life threw on her. She gave life to dead. She became the power for weak the voice for unheard. She became the woman the society didn't raise her to yet she did it all.
But things were planned different for her. Fighting everything and winning  never gave her happiness you ask why? because society looked at her like a dominating woman, they looked at her who was crude and loud. Guess this society was not ready to accept woman with such intellect. They tried to take away her pride her health her confidence and most importantly her respect. She fought everything with great pride and strength and never gave up.
But this was the battle she signed up for that would take lifetime to end.

An Ode to My Oldself

An Ode to My Old self
Never knew the difference between being who I was earlier and what I had become in the past few months. I did not know if I was the same person anymore. What lead me here had no answer to it! everything in life made no sense. everyone around me noticed the change except me they would want to help but I would refuse to take help saying that I was fine and normal. in fact I took it as an offence when someone would try to point out the flaws in me-too coward to die and too courageous to live That was exactly my situation.
Then how did things change? what happened
Growing up as a kid I never faced failures I was always the brightest student in the class the one that shines bright. Things changed when I failed never in life seen refusal I did not exactly know how to deal with it and that if it was even okay to fail! everyone around me seem okay except me the feeling of failure was sinking in. However I did not do much to change it. This was just the beginning slowly moving on in life I face with failures multiple times! not only career wise but also at personal level. Everything somehow looked like illusion to me. It felt like everything was chanting to my failures, telling me that my life had no goals no reason to even live. the only thing that made sense to me was food. I found great escape in food, eating as till my stomach would refuse, eating at no fixed time. I just could not let go the habit. it took no longer for me when I finally broke down in front of my mother. I still remember that night, and to my surprise she told me it was okay for me to feel that way and we will get through this together. that was the very first time I felt normal. And as days passed I began to start writing down my feelings, somehow it gave me peace of mind to write what I felt like someone was reading it, like someone could actually understand what I was going through. that is when I started to search for motivational videos and stories, I just wanted to get inspired.
Life was not fair to me that was the only reason I gave to myself and others that would ask me about my failures. Tt was finally time to accept that I was suffering from depression. yes I was mentally ill! and yes I am very much normal like you. I look very human like there is nothing alienating about me. nothing alarming about me I am what iam. The very step for me to was to accept help and to know that I was in depression and that there was nothing to be ashamed about it.
One of the major causes of depression turned suicidal is the negligence and the way we deal with depression. You will not find any school or college book talking about mental illness or find doctors that are qualified this deal with this situation. In fact the society is built in such a way that depression is often symbolised at being weak, someone who cannot tackle difficult situation, we are often made to hide the fact that we are in depression and to act like it never happened.
We are told to act confident and bold otherwise no company would hire us nobody will want to work with us. I have not read many articles talking about corporate companies giving mental sickness leave or having any policy that would protect employees having mental illness or even any good study institution that will be willing to take a patient of depression.
Why is there is such a barrier why are we running away from it? why are asked to hide it.
I have been through depression and I overcame it. it was not an easy journey for me. It was more or less a learning experience for me. and one of the most important thing I realised during depression was that the very first step to overcome it is to acknowledge the presence of depression in your life. We often live in denial saying to ourselves that depression is for cowards it is for others and not me. We suppress our true emotions resulting it to block our true selves at such a level that it might lead to suicide. Secondly talk it out, talk to someone who is close to you fear not to seek help. Mental illness is just like physical illness it does not make you harmful/bad/not normal person it just makes you who you are and there is nothing wrong in being who you are. Go out , indulge yourself into physical activities and eat healthy,talk about you experience  to others become more and more aware about it. and if required take medication for it, those medication will not harm your brains.
Now two most asked question why me? and what if I relapse again?
Well there is no answer for why you! it is an illness and can happen to anybody, however dome people deal with it smartly and seek help at early stage thereby stopping it there and then and for other they keep hiding it for life long and out busting it with a mental breakdown.one cannot be characterised as weak if they suffer from depression I would rather say people wo overcome depression are the bravest of all kind, why? simply because they have outlived the roughest and darkest phase of their lives and they know how it feels to be there so they very well also know how to deal with it and do not forget it took them real courage to come out as a patient of mental illness.
now is there a possibility of it to relapse again? people who have suffered from depression always fear about relapsing to it again, however such a situation can be overcome by getting routine checkups on time and most importantly by indulging oneself into healthy habits. No illness is completely curable they all have a slight chance of recurrence, but there is no illness that cannot be fought. At last I want to urge everyone of you if you are reading this spread this message wide, help people around you suffering from depression and let them know they can get through this. We are in this together.

What Is Depression?

What is depression to you? what are the symptoms of depression? how to cure it? how can it happens? does it make you unfit? what age are you more prone to have depression?
Searching for the answers to these questions I come across so many articles, so many researches, so many words that I cannot understand. May be it is just me who does not understand the technical words.
Whatever it is I cannot deny that there is an urgent need to come together and work onto resolve this matter. Around 350 million people are suffering from depression which is almost 5 % of the population of the earth and mind it this statistics talk only about those who have acknowledged that they are in depression, there are many out there who either do not accept it or are unaware about it. How do we help those who are unaware about what depression is? well one of the things you could do is to use your social circle to talk more often about depression and try to spread awareness about it in easy understandable language. The month of October is dedicated to the mental awareness week and one can always celebrate these days by sharing on you social profiles and in schools/workplace/home.
Secondly, How do we convince those who do not want to accept that depression can happen to them too and that it is okay. Well to those people try asking them one question, Do you want to be happy and liberated?  let them know that accepting what they are going through will be a life changing experience for them and that they are not the only one who is in such a situation, failure or rejections or disappointments all of us have faced it.
One of the most important thing that you should know before addressing someone in depression is to let them know that they are not alone in this and it is perfectly normal to feel the way they feel. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of, it can happen to anyone, as a matter of fact I encourage you to talk fearlessly about it ( only when you are ready to ), this might help others going through same situation the strength to fight as it will act as a at of hope for them.
Most of the people think depression is not a real illness, some thinks that it makes them look like a coward. Most of the people think so because of the lack of awareness and knowledge. Like any other illness depression is also one, it does not make you any less humane or less knowledgeable or less attractive, it is a part of you and nothing more than that, and till you face it, it will keep haunting you and making you weak so I would suggest just face it once for all and breakdown and accept defeat and seek help. If seeking doctors help when you have some injury is normal then why not going to psychiatrist when in depression normal? It is all in the mindset and nothing else.
Now below are some questions that can help you identify if you are in depression:
Do  you question existence, your purpose or aim in life,
Do you have suicidal thoughts?
Do you find being at home alone more convincing because then you will not have to face anyone or answer any questions.
Do you find yourself alone at the inside of your mind like none can understand what your situation is.
Do you feel that you are better dead than living?
If yes, then  you might want to seek help and discuss the matter. There is nothing to worry about,  it is like every other normal disease out there which is highly underrated yet curable when known. You are not alone in this, it might seem like it but really you are not. Your thoughts are with you and most importantly your soul that none can take away from you until you give it up. You need to know that there is no light without darkness, and you have to get through this phase to get into a brighter place and it will be all worthwhile. You have to fight back and tell yourself because your life matters. There are so many great examples of people  who overcame depression and now are changing the world because now that they have faced their darkest fear they have nothing to be worried about and now they are stronger than ever.
It is not a one day process, rather it is a process that never stops,everyday you build yourself, thrive to become better and become stronger. Do not run away and despise yourself. Rather own up to your mess like a Boss.

Love like never before

Love is unconditional, love is inspiring, love is hope, love is faith, love never dies , love never fades.Which is why it is the best feeling in the world, there is nothing like love. My love for my parents taught me the real meaning of love which is why I don't have romantic posts, not because I don't believe in romance or I have some heartbreaking story. For me love is old fashioned it is not about heartbreaks, lies , betrayal but about sacrifices, constant support, about happy endings where we have so much to learn. It is surely nothing like valentine's day rather it is about mutual understandings about failing on expectations but then love is all about second chances isn't it

Also with time I realised that love is natural , you cannot ask or request anyone to love you back just because you love them. Then why are investing time on it I am not asking you to stop loving anyone what I am asking you is to love your closed ones but most importantly love yourself more. Do not forget to admire yourself for all the flaws you have . Love doesn't has to be romantic but it can surely be motivating. The power lies with you. To live with a broken heart trying to forcefully fill it with other or to mend that broken heart with all the love you can.