A note to an Older Self

Hey There!
As this year is coming to an end I have so much that I am grateful and thankful for.
This year has taught me so many lessons that I cannot be enough thankful for. I learnt to let go, that not everything in life can be planned and controlled. Sometimes it is okay to take the break from all the hustle and sit back and just relax, to take time and be proud of how far you have come. It is great to be hard working and ambitious but its good to always take some time off the grid, to take one step at a time. I took around 6 trips this year and every trip left an embark in me, gave me a new perspective and that every time I came back from the trip I was rejuvenated with so much of positivity and energy.
I have always found myself caged in the idea of age and time, but you know what? it's okay if you are unlike any other or that your purpose in life to get there is taking time, just know that you will get there eventually and when you do time will hold no value because all that will matter is that moment, the very moment when you will feel that joy and peace in your heart.
And the most important lesson of all the power of kindness and love, is close to my heart. I try to be as kind and loving as I can be to others but I would often ignore it
for my own self. In this life we are so busy loving others and the idea of love that we often forget that love has to start from oneself. That what you reap inside of
you shall come out of you either from mouth or actions, who cares. So lets plant the seed of love and kindness inside, lets be and to ourselves when things go wrong,when someone leaves or when you are having a bad day, lets be loving to all of our self ,our body, our imperfections, our insecurities, to let go of all that is holding you back from being who you really are. Trust me you cannot love or be kind to others if you are not to your own self.
Towards the end I don't believe in new years but what I do believe in, is the idea of new chances, new opportunities, new outlook for life, new connections.
So much love
Bhargavi Rana

Feminism at it's best.

Don't you have a brother? and why not? question that has haunted me for years. Initially growing up this question meant nothing but repetitively started to bother me. Well thanks to those people I started to question to myself why am I being asked this? how does it even matter if I do not have a brother. In that journey I made myself believe that I should aim on becoming the Son my parents never had. But thanks to y inquisitive mind I still wasn't satisfied I started to read and read educate myself. The deeper I got into it I realised that responsibilities have got nothing to do with my gender that even being a daughter I can still make my father proud, I can still access education to any limit I want and grow up becoming my own person.
Then comes the hottest compliment of all time, you are a Feminist and trust me it is in a tone like it is something foul. A lot of people associate feminism with pulling men down from their current status in the society, taking away their say and rights and giving women whatever they want overlooking justice and equality.
Honestly, for such people I have only one thing to say you all believe in it because you have been doing this to women which is why they have a reason to believe that Feminism is all about it, I do not blame them honestly. Though it shocks and  also concerns me that this is not just happening around me or in my country but worldwide, women have faced and continue facing such issues, even highly developed countries have such issue. What can be done? I ask myself everyday.
Here is what I strongly believe especially facing situations first handedly that the word feminism is too small to contain all of it, I see it more of as a revolution that is evolving with years passing by. Feminism in simple terms mean the liberty for being whatever and whoever I want to be, to split the check, to be ambitious, to share responsibilities to be liberal, to date men and not being judged, to make my own sexual decisions and not be judged or call out for it. and most importantly to not suppress or be suppressed by any gender rather build a community that embraces my choices with no regards to my gender.
All I ask as a women is to be open to the change, to equality, to a community where a women can be more intelligent and sharper than you, to embrace a woman who is bold or shy to a bad ass working mom or a homemaker. To build a community of equal opportunities ,wellbeing  and pay.
Let us educate ourselves before we pass any opinions.
Have an open mind!

The Paradoxical Commandments

Reading through the Book ' The 8th Habit' , I came across the, "The Paradoxical Commandments". As I was reading through it, I couldn't have felt more empowered and beautiful than I was feeling at that moment. Which is why I wanted to share them :
1.People are illogical, unreasonable and self centred, love them anyway.
2.If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior, do good anyway.
3.If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies, succeed anyway.
4.The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow, do good anyway.
5.Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable, be honest and frank anyway.
6.The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by smallest men and women with smallest minds. think big anyway.
7.What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight, build anyway.
8.People who really need your help may attack you if you help them, help them anyway.
9.Give the world the best you have and you will kicked in the teeth, give the world the best anyway.

Reading these fill my life with purpose and more energy. Over time there have been and will be many instances where I come across the above said situations and then these commandments seem like a task to implement. You see the negative looks more easy and less painful, as to seek revenge, to be bitter, to pull someone down, to be selfish, might seem like the way to reach the top, to achieve utmost happiness, as you call it peace of mind.
In Such times I have learnt to trust myself, to be the bigger one in the picture, to learn to differentiate between the temporary and the permanent things in lives. As to the current situation that I might be facing is temporary but my response to it shall be permanent, as to how I react to it shall shape my soul and mind of a person that I  will become.
To learn to choose ourselves over such situations, takes strength and courage. It is not easy to be the bigger one or to be even a percent of the human in the above said commandments, which is why not everyone you meet or come across will be like it. Which is why it makes my purpose more worthy and fills me with more hope and faith of a humane world.

Evolve
Much Love
Bhargavi Rana

A note to an older self

As another year passes by I want to take this chance to be grateful to each and every opportunity that I had. 

As my father beautifully quoted to me " daughter do not take any task as big or small, rather put in all your heart and soul to it, as to everything that comes your way is a lesson learnt" .

That time I surely did not understand his words but now I do. Thus I do not take anything for granted and  try to learn from anything that comes my way, even while I am doing household chores. As someone said "Beauty lies in the eyes of Beholder" , my version on it is "Learnings and opportunities lies in the eyes of those who seek". More than anything I am thankful to each and everyone who touched upon my life, I am forever grateful to the experiences they left me with, positive or negative it has moulded me.

I take every second, every day of my life as a chance to grow and gain knowledge as an individual self, to dedicatedly spend my coming year as a lover and a seeker.

Thank you for your time.

Much love

Bhargavi Rana

My version of Still I rise

When the night is dark and cold
The world shall leave you on your own
But what this selfish world doesn't understand is,
That just how the day turned to night
The darker shall turn to a brighter path
That time doesn't stop whether it is good or bad
and so does the fate doesn't remain the same forever
today I have dark night
and tomorrow I shall have a bright rise.

A questionable Dillema

The question of my existence my lifestyle my belongings have always fascinated me

because when I look around I see so much of variety no one person has same things as I do. I do not understand why I have more than someone has and less than some other one has.

why is there is so much of difference between you and me? how is it even possible?

this will always be the question of a lifetime for me. For instance why a janitor working 8hrs a day at a local place earns less than the janitor working at a high end place. I really miss out the reason for gap in the picture. Are not they both doing the same job? how in this life have we managed to create such vast differences that looks impossible to fill in.
when did this even happen?

how do you know my intellect is more than an old lady who has spent life in poverty struggling to feed her babies just because I have a degree and she don't?

when did we manage to create a society where even something as private as our careers are being judged.
Why are porn stars or prostitutes or strippers seen less than people working at corporate office?

 is it because they choose to sell their physical bodies and latter one choses to sell their brain. Aren't both of them selling a part of each selves? then why such parity?

why are we constantly on the run? what is there to achieve in this lifetime? What is that you seek? why is my need a luxury for you and my luxury a need for someone else?

What is that you seek in me? what is there to love in me or makes me likeable?

is it that I do things that you like or that we share same opinions or has it got to do something with my body.

Do you know me? Do you want to even know me? or just act like it.

People call me unromantic because I do not understand what it feels like to be presented with huge gestures,may be I don't may be because I have never had one or could it be that I happen to find happiness in small things. what is it?

what does it feel to be hopeless romantic ? addressing heart full of emotions or box full of chocolates or heart full of broken pieces? what is it?

I just thought that love is love, it could mean differently for all of us.

Why am I any different?

Woman Of Colour

Growing up as a dark skinned woman was not that easy. I was often advised to not sit in the sun,to play in the sun or to not drink tea or to not wear certain colours and not to forget use fairness creams. Fairness cream ah! what to say about them, the concept of lightning cream was to lighten the scars of acne or help with pigmentation which are real skin problems and not to change the colour of ones complexion that they were born into. But you will be shocked to know how vast the market of fairness cream is. Women unknowingly find themselves trapped just because we live in a world where beauty is defined by the colour of your skin and honestly I do not know whom to blame, because everywhere I see there are ample of fair women figures it is like the world is dominated by colour, be it movies, songs, television series. How can I forget watching advertisement where they tape young women saying how their lives were full of rejection just because they were dark but as soon as they started using the fairness cream everything changed and all of sudden hard work in real terms did not reap but a fairness cream did and their lives where changed forever.It came as a shock to me when at a younger age some of my peers did not want to be friends with me because there was some cult for so called fair looking people. Oh what a day! it did not bother me though it did get me thinking what is it? why is it so important to be of fair colour, how does it even define or portray me as a human? am I not supposed to better at studies or doing homework than to just worry about why I am dark and desperately attempt to be someone I was never meant to be. Lucky for me I found a figure that inspired and affected me as person. She gave me more clarity and she was none other than my mother. Yes my mother is a dark skin woman just like me, she is filled with full of passion courage, strength someone who never gives a damn to what anyone had to say or do but did whatever she loved is passionate about. I grew up watching her respecting people around us helping them and most importantly being an amazing mother, a friend without I whom would not be what I am today. That is how I decided to become a woman I was meant to someone who as confident with whoever she was and most importantly embrace the colour of my skin and take pride in it. I use creams and also make up but not to change my colour but to enhance the skin I have and take care of it. Beauty is not about colour, figure or clothes it is about who you are as a person. Do you have light that lights the people around, Do you make people around you feel better about themselves? Do you radiate positivity around you? Beauty is abstract you cannot see it but you can always feel it. It is about who you are from the inside and how you look at the things around you. Do not let just one part of you over shadow,who you are and can become. It is upto you how you want to spend the rest of your life to become someone you never where or magnify all the qualities you already have into becoming someone that blossoms not only oneself but also the others that surround them.

What Being Single Really Is Like?

Well at first it does not come as a beautiful experience like endless nights of cribbing over the past, talking out to your closed ones about your ex partner and explaining why both of you were not fit for each other and list goes on! In short post break up is not a smooth ride because it comes with tonnes of decision makings which one is not ready to make. 

It looks convenient to fall into the societal trap of never being single,yes you heard me right I am not saying that finding the right partner is wrong, but  all I am saying is that we are so used to being with someone that we do not take time to process our lives. 

Instead we hop onto from one relationship to another, we do not give ourselves the chance to heal, rather try to find someone else who could do it for us. That looks way more convenient. and why not? after all there is so many offers in the market I mean casual dating, serious relationship, one night hook ups or friends with benefits and fear not even people are also labeled as commodity, like the cute one, the handsome one, the sexy one, the hot one, the flirty one, the horny one and so you can like go out and pick any of the arrangement that suits you. Did you see what I did here? I just listed the most captivating world possible to you and it looked so fascinating and  you might think to yourself oh yeas I have definitely done this or that. But here is the thing, this is like a vicious cycle it never ends and it ends up making your life repetitive and monotonous. You may ask why? , then give me the honors.
While moving on from one to another what you forget about is the real world problems. You are so caught up into your own life that you do not really think about anything! not even your real self!. I know this is confusing. What I mean is going on dates or movies or anything really, makes you want to dress best, to look best, to be a good at conversations, from one date to another or from one person to another you just forget about your real worth. I am not saying that trying to search for the right person is wrong, honestly I am all up for it.
But do not forget about yourself in the process, learn about yourself,  know who you really are and do you even really like doing this or you are doing it because everyone else is doing it? do you want to end up living a life where high school problems take on your adult life and you miss out your own potential and ability to bring a change. To know what is going on in the world right now. I would be pretty honest with you when I was with someone I was a shallow person, I was so involved in it that I did not really care about what was happening around me or in fact in any part of the world and I do not blame anyone but myself for it. Being single gave me the time to know what a blessing and a responsibility it is to be a woman and how much there is to do in the world. This world does not need high school problems but needs a little bit of our time, if we could truly invest in it by helping other being kind to others being humble being true to our self and most importantly doing things that we really want to do.
Do not let the world bind you to make you do things that it calls normal do the extra ordinary be shameless and have the belief and trust upon your decisions. If you are having hard time finding the one to love  then why do not you spread love to the people around you and be a support. I am pretty sure nobody will be damaged.

What it takes to live a life when you have faced Failures and been into Depression

The journey of failing or depression not being that easy comes with a life full of challenges. It is not at all easy to live, not because you failed or were depressed but because the way people treat you after they know certain things about you. They call you out for your fallouts constantly ,remind you of where you were and may be also why you deserved to be there. Some will say you faked being in depression others would say you failed because you were meant to fail. They will lash out on you often ,for your past for all those wrong choices you made, for all those time you gave up and especially in a world where mental illness is a joke and not taken seriously it becomes really difficult to open up and survive, because constantly you will be reminded that you do not fit in or that you are not normal. You do not deserve to be alive the life you are living. Some people will tag you as rude or closed or stone hearted and some might even leave. People will have great difficulty to understand the person you are and the person you perspire to become.
But hey! nobody said it was easy right? the way I look at it is that have been the one who has faced depression and lot of failures you are the chosen one. You do not see everyone in your situation do you? your life is unique and different. It is not like everyone else's, which is why people will have hard time understanding you or your journey. But you have to know nobody can harm you until you let them. If one thing those rough times should teach then it should be that do not loose yourself so easy. It took a tug of war to fight those dark times and giving up on what people have to say, does not seem like worthy enough.
Yes they will come at you talk about your life like they knew how it felt like it was nothing but only you shall know its true worth. Now that you have finally come out of the dark zone you should be able to own to it and happily accept for what it was better or worst because it makes you the person you are. May be right now people around you do not understand but hey it is your life you are not living to get validation from others. Work on yourself everyday ! work on  to try to become better and better not that you are not good enough right now, but that this world is huge and has so many issues going on that is not going anywhere soon and your story is just a tiny part of it so why not contribute your tiny share to a better world. A world of hopes a world of no judgments a world full of admiration and positivity a world where you and me are no different we are just souls wandering for vast knowledge this universe hold a world where everyone has a shelter a voice and most importantly themselves.
We can do this only if we stop thinking about the petty issues others have to say.

#METOO

A movement that is started by a woman who was harassed at some point of her life and wants others to share it too as the world sees the magnitude of the harassment every woman goes through in her life time.

It is a great movement I am all up for it. I have not come across any single women who has never been harassed at any point of her life. But then why do they keep quiet? why are they not raising their voice. well let me tell you what goes through a woman's mind when she first comes across such an experience, we are built to first be alarmed by the very man who has been sending negative signals and when something bad occurs as a normal person would we want to raise voice and fight back. We want to shout and do something about it. Here comes the truth only a small potion of women are able to raise their voice whereas majority keeps calm and  try to forget the unforgetful event and blame their own self for it and who knows may be shut themselves forever. The harassment could take place in any manner, it could be physically and mentally.

It is easy for people to say that you should raise awareness and voice against such people, but then my question is who is listening to us? as soon as the news of the mishappening spreads the very first reaction that comes from it shame and pointing fingers at girls character, clothes, things she is into, it is like all her doings till that very day is being read and judged by many. All of a sudden everything changes. she is made to say goodbye to her old self and forced to become someone she did not sign up for. We live in a world where many people still blame women for the cause of such an event. we live in a world where women are given a set of instructions to follow to restrict herself to mark boundaries to be not completely free to be cautious every second to not be drunk to be not independent, and you know why? because this society has failed to raise MEN, instead they gave birth to a community that sees everyone less than them, where they are not taught how to behave in front of women how to respect women how to not feel any less manly if a woman is their boss how to know that they are equals and it is not the women that should taught but the very men.

SHE

She was born in a village, at the age of playing and reading books she was handed over utensils and tools of farming. She was not given lessons to go out and live in the world but she was given lessons to survive bad monsoon. When puberty hit her she was not told anything about her hygiene or how to deal with those mensuration cramps rather she was told that those days of the month made her impure for some kind. It almost felt like that having mensuration was her fault and not a gift from nature.
She was not given any right to decide for her life married off to a man who said yes to her, little did anyone ask if it was yes from her side. She was handed over to a man she did not know, never seen before however she was taught to serve him for life. She was taught to be a good wife and daughter in law, it looked like modern day slavery but how would she know ? books were unknown to her. She was expected to feel blessed because she was accepted by this Nobel man in spite of the fact that she was dark and rejected by many men before. She was made felt like rejected and tempered goods who someone took for heavy discounts.
Still she accepted her fate with a smile on her face. little did anyone know that they had given birth to a warrior a knight that was hard to defeat. She conquered everything that life threw on her. She gave life to dead. She became the power for weak the voice for unheard. She became the woman the society didn't raise her to yet she did it all.
But things were planned different for her. Fighting everything and winning  never gave her happiness you ask why? because society looked at her like a dominating woman, they looked at her who was crude and loud. Guess this society was not ready to accept woman with such intellect. They tried to take away her pride her health her confidence and most importantly her respect. She fought everything with great pride and strength and never gave up.
But this was the battle she signed up for that would take lifetime to end.

An Ode to My Oldself

An Ode to My Old self
Never knew the difference between being who I was earlier and what I had become in the past few months. I did not know if I was the same person anymore. What lead me here had no answer to it! everything in life made no sense. everyone around me noticed the change except me they would want to help but I would refuse to take help saying that I was fine and normal. in fact I took it as an offence when someone would try to point out the flaws in me-too coward to die and too courageous to live That was exactly my situation.
Then how did things change? what happened
Growing up as a kid I never faced failures I was always the brightest student in the class the one that shines bright. Things changed when I failed never in life seen refusal I did not exactly know how to deal with it and that if it was even okay to fail! everyone around me seem okay except me the feeling of failure was sinking in. However I did not do much to change it. This was just the beginning slowly moving on in life I face with failures multiple times! not only career wise but also at personal level. Everything somehow looked like illusion to me. It felt like everything was chanting to my failures, telling me that my life had no goals no reason to even live. the only thing that made sense to me was food. I found great escape in food, eating as till my stomach would refuse, eating at no fixed time. I just could not let go the habit. it took no longer for me when I finally broke down in front of my mother. I still remember that night, and to my surprise she told me it was okay for me to feel that way and we will get through this together. that was the very first time I felt normal. And as days passed I began to start writing down my feelings, somehow it gave me peace of mind to write what I felt like someone was reading it, like someone could actually understand what I was going through. that is when I started to search for motivational videos and stories, I just wanted to get inspired.
Life was not fair to me that was the only reason I gave to myself and others that would ask me about my failures. Tt was finally time to accept that I was suffering from depression. yes I was mentally ill! and yes I am very much normal like you. I look very human like there is nothing alienating about me. nothing alarming about me I am what iam. The very step for me to was to accept help and to know that I was in depression and that there was nothing to be ashamed about it.
One of the major causes of depression turned suicidal is the negligence and the way we deal with depression. You will not find any school or college book talking about mental illness or find doctors that are qualified this deal with this situation. In fact the society is built in such a way that depression is often symbolised at being weak, someone who cannot tackle difficult situation, we are often made to hide the fact that we are in depression and to act like it never happened.
We are told to act confident and bold otherwise no company would hire us nobody will want to work with us. I have not read many articles talking about corporate companies giving mental sickness leave or having any policy that would protect employees having mental illness or even any good study institution that will be willing to take a patient of depression.
Why is there is such a barrier why are we running away from it? why are asked to hide it.
I have been through depression and I overcame it. it was not an easy journey for me. It was more or less a learning experience for me. and one of the most important thing I realised during depression was that the very first step to overcome it is to acknowledge the presence of depression in your life. We often live in denial saying to ourselves that depression is for cowards it is for others and not me. We suppress our true emotions resulting it to block our true selves at such a level that it might lead to suicide. Secondly talk it out, talk to someone who is close to you fear not to seek help. Mental illness is just like physical illness it does not make you harmful/bad/not normal person it just makes you who you are and there is nothing wrong in being who you are. Go out , indulge yourself into physical activities and eat healthy,talk about you experience  to others become more and more aware about it. and if required take medication for it, those medication will not harm your brains.
Now two most asked question why me? and what if I relapse again?
Well there is no answer for why you! it is an illness and can happen to anybody, however dome people deal with it smartly and seek help at early stage thereby stopping it there and then and for other they keep hiding it for life long and out busting it with a mental breakdown.one cannot be characterised as weak if they suffer from depression I would rather say people wo overcome depression are the bravest of all kind, why? simply because they have outlived the roughest and darkest phase of their lives and they know how it feels to be there so they very well also know how to deal with it and do not forget it took them real courage to come out as a patient of mental illness.
now is there a possibility of it to relapse again? people who have suffered from depression always fear about relapsing to it again, however such a situation can be overcome by getting routine checkups on time and most importantly by indulging oneself into healthy habits. No illness is completely curable they all have a slight chance of recurrence, but there is no illness that cannot be fought. At last I want to urge everyone of you if you are reading this spread this message wide, help people around you suffering from depression and let them know they can get through this. We are in this together.

What Is Depression?

What is depression to you? what are the symptoms of depression? how to cure it? how can it happens? does it make you unfit? what age are you more prone to have depression?
Searching for the answers to these questions I come across so many articles, so many researches, so many words that I cannot understand. May be it is just me who does not understand the technical words.
Whatever it is I cannot deny that there is an urgent need to come together and work onto resolve this matter. Around 350 million people are suffering from depression which is almost 5 % of the population of the earth and mind it this statistics talk only about those who have acknowledged that they are in depression, there are many out there who either do not accept it or are unaware about it. How do we help those who are unaware about what depression is? well one of the things you could do is to use your social circle to talk more often about depression and try to spread awareness about it in easy understandable language. The month of October is dedicated to the mental awareness week and one can always celebrate these days by sharing on you social profiles and in schools/workplace/home.
Secondly, How do we convince those who do not want to accept that depression can happen to them too and that it is okay. Well to those people try asking them one question, Do you want to be happy and liberated?  let them know that accepting what they are going through will be a life changing experience for them and that they are not the only one who is in such a situation, failure or rejections or disappointments all of us have faced it.
One of the most important thing that you should know before addressing someone in depression is to let them know that they are not alone in this and it is perfectly normal to feel the way they feel. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of, it can happen to anyone, as a matter of fact I encourage you to talk fearlessly about it ( only when you are ready to ), this might help others going through same situation the strength to fight as it will act as a at of hope for them.
Most of the people think depression is not a real illness, some thinks that it makes them look like a coward. Most of the people think so because of the lack of awareness and knowledge. Like any other illness depression is also one, it does not make you any less humane or less knowledgeable or less attractive, it is a part of you and nothing more than that, and till you face it, it will keep haunting you and making you weak so I would suggest just face it once for all and breakdown and accept defeat and seek help. If seeking doctors help when you have some injury is normal then why not going to psychiatrist when in depression normal? It is all in the mindset and nothing else.
Now below are some questions that can help you identify if you are in depression:
Do  you question existence, your purpose or aim in life,
Do you have suicidal thoughts?
Do you find being at home alone more convincing because then you will not have to face anyone or answer any questions.
Do you find yourself alone at the inside of your mind like none can understand what your situation is.
Do you feel that you are better dead than living?
If yes, then  you might want to seek help and discuss the matter. There is nothing to worry about,  it is like every other normal disease out there which is highly underrated yet curable when known. You are not alone in this, it might seem like it but really you are not. Your thoughts are with you and most importantly your soul that none can take away from you until you give it up. You need to know that there is no light without darkness, and you have to get through this phase to get into a brighter place and it will be all worthwhile. You have to fight back and tell yourself because your life matters. There are so many great examples of people  who overcame depression and now are changing the world because now that they have faced their darkest fear they have nothing to be worried about and now they are stronger than ever.
It is not a one day process, rather it is a process that never stops,everyday you build yourself, thrive to become better and become stronger. Do not run away and despise yourself. Rather own up to your mess like a Boss.

Love like never before

Love is unconditional, love is inspiring, love is hope, love is faith, love never dies , love never fades.Which is why it is the best feeling in the world, there is nothing like love. My love for my parents taught me the real meaning of love which is why I don't have romantic posts, not because I don't believe in romance or I have some heartbreaking story. For me love is old fashioned it is not about heartbreaks, lies , betrayal but about sacrifices, constant support, about happy endings where we have so much to learn. It is surely nothing like valentine's day rather it is about mutual understandings about failing on expectations but then love is all about second chances isn't it

Also with time I realised that love is natural , you cannot ask or request anyone to love you back just because you love them. Then why are investing time on it I am not asking you to stop loving anyone what I am asking you is to love your closed ones but most importantly love yourself more. Do not forget to admire yourself for all the flaws you have . Love doesn't has to be romantic but it can surely be motivating. The power lies with you. To live with a broken heart trying to forcefully fill it with other or to mend that broken heart with all the love you can.

Chapter 3

Diary Of Not So Complicated Girl

Thinking about her day,  she thought to herself why is it everyone obssessed with money? why do I have to bow down and treat everyone with respect whereas they treat me harshly. Why me and my family have to be ashamed of who we are and what we do for living or where we live and what we eat?
The little girl Kiara thought to herself. I hate this world she said and went back to sleep.
The very next day she went to the doctor's clinic where her mother worked. As soon as she reached there she stood outside the clinic as she had strict rules regarding the posh clinic and its clients. So little girl Kiara stood next to the gate under the unbearable heat of the sun again cursing the world and its rules.Playing with her hairs she caught herself looking at the huge black car and the most posh woman she had ever seen Dr.Zubeda. Staring at her she failed to realise that Miss.Posh Doctor had caught her looking at the car and her shoes, Zubeda stopped and asked her if she was lost and to that Kiara innocently replied about the rules her mother had told her, listening to the girl Zubeda smiled and held her hand and took her inside the clinic. As soon as she entered the clinic Kiara's mother was surprised and got worried if her little girl was in some sort of trouble, reading the face of the cleaning lady Zubeda said, don't worry I caught this cute looking princess smiling and I could not resist but to bring her in. Listening to her Kiara felt loved and belonged for the very first time, never had someone so rich treated her like this, may be the world was not that of a bad place she thought to herself. Why is that nobody ask anyone how rich they are from heart ? or what do they wear in their manners or where do they go to find respect or live in peace? where do people earn respect? why does my mother have to respect everyone and in return get nothing but insult. Zubeda was struck listening to her words and to see how every word she said held depth.
Zubeda took the girl and made her sit on her lap and holding her hand said ...
To Be CONTINUED

Uncomfortably Comfortable

I spent years of my precious life thinking that I was not perfect! Being uncomfortable if I am not able to answer in the class, to not get scores in tests, to have a belly instead of abs, to have stretch marks instead of smooth skin or to be so short that every single person looked like Goliath to me. Like really! I could not figure out a way to stop this feeling, to not feel unhappy with whoever I was. I somehow had found my idols in this world and was blindly in hopes of following them to become like them. And to be honest there is nothing wrong to become like your idol or even to try to become like them. What is wrong,  is to trying to replicate them, you see all of us are different from one another yes ! you heard me right billions of human present on the surface of earth all are different from one another we can match certain qualities but the degree of those qualities will be different. You have to understand that the qualities of your idol might be something you want to possess but you have to imbibe them with your persona. Give it your own shape only then you can become the best version of yourself. I tried to be perfect whether it was studies, looks, social life or family but I failed terribly in all of the areas of my life and it was not because I was not trying but because I was trying to mould myself to become a person I was not. I tried to fit myself in the society to become friendly, to become obedient , to become a scholar but all of these qualities were not just me. Now you would think why? Let me help you why, for me becoming perfect was becoming like someone I thought was perfect and not myself. I was trying hard but I was trying hard to replicate a figure, which ended up making me uncomfortable in many areas of my life. It took me a long time to understand that becoming like someone did not mean to copy them but to learn from them the art of acknowledging yourself the way you are. To accept yourself , your flaws, your power and trying everyday to enhance them, thriving to become better.
It has got nothing to do with your clothes, color , stretch marks, looks, scores ,social life or financial aid. It was about how you reflected your values, how you helped a person in need especially when they were a stranger to you. It is about being yourself and not being ashamed ( NOT ASHAMED, old post reference) . Everything you are is what defines you as a person be it your failures/success, beauty/stretch marks, average student/ scholar. It is who you are and to be comfortable with whoever you are is an important step if you want to discover yourself.

Days Of A Not So Complicated Girl

Introduction

It was a casual day just like any other the sun was going down and the moon was coming up and as she lied down on her bed she realised the times she had been lied upon so all of a sudden she sits thinking that she would never be lied upon. And started to think to herself if she had done this this , was there a chance that she wouldn't be left alone? what could be the possibility for her to be not alone just like right now in the mere future, what if this was the reality of her life with which she had to live for the rest of her life. She looked out of the window near her bed and gazed to the stars and thought to herself this is the same sky every human on this earth is sharing with me the stars the moon the clouds then why cant someone share their time and interests with me? why in spite of having so many social media platforms she was all alone and in spite of having thousands of followers friends she did not have someone to talk to but herself? was it the beginning of her adulthood? or her inability of understanding the world.

Chapter 2

Survived another night and welcoming a new morning. Even when the sun was at its best the light did not feel bright enough to lighten the room, with one eyes opened and the other closed  she woke up that morning from the sleepless night she had, she sighed morning again! It almost felt like the light of the sun was causing pain in her eyes and the hustle of the world was unbearable to watch. Somehow watching people made her feel more lonely than she was, however she had to live by the day! Sticking to her routine and following it blindly another day passed , and Alas! once again night had approached and she was feeling more of herself and there was sudden energy and happiness that was all over her mind.
Looking at the moon and the darkness that came by it she thought to herself how can anyone be scared of the dark? isn't darkness the only thing in the world that soothes you, that gives you peace, in the dark everything is still, everything is beautiful. Thinking that she felt petty on others who could not understand the beauty of the night time. As the clock was ticking she began to think of all the things that had happened during the day and somehow every detail of the day started to come back to her even the ones she thought was of no importance, and as she listened to those repeated songs of the same playlist feeling every word by the heart ,she said to herself Zubeda its no big deal! people are meant to be this complicated it is alright if you don't understand them.
As she was trying hard to console herself but deep down she felt she was at fault, that may be it wasn't others this whole time but her. But then why didn't she change herself? was she too stubborn to change for good? or was she too weak to stand up for good?

Spreading smiles
In this vast universe of diverse living animals how often do we come across the human species? and then to not to complicate it further how often do we come across the different kinds of human sapiens?
Now you will wonder what? let me take it step by step, as everyday comes and goes with your choice or without it you come across hundreds of people, now you would think I talk to only handful of people in a day or I don't think so or what is this girl talking about? but if you come out of your zone and look to the right and the left to the skies and the ground your feet is touching every particle of this world is connected to the aura of the person that passed by it. We never see it we never know them but we can feel it, just like you can know when you sit at some table in a fast food chain you always have two kinds of tables either clean or either still having the remains of the food someone ate there before you , in our busy lives we might not consider it as something that catches our attention but definitely this surely tells about the aura of the person who has been there before. We knowingly or unknowingly affect others even  the small things you do that you think is nothing, somehow it is like the decision you make everyday either to influence someone to do better or to do worst. You might not know but your small gesture like offering someone needy your seat or helping someone cross the road or just telling someone that they can do it or telling someone they deserve to be happy or to offer someone water who knows how long this list can go? but the bottom line is everyday when you wake up till the moment you fall asleep you make choices, choice to wish others good morning, choices to make someone smile, choices that you don't know can affect someone can give a ray of hope to someone. You don't know if the person sitting next to you in the train or standing in the queue at some fast food chain or someone around you might be going through a real hard time may be depression may be your act of generosity, kindness ,thankfulness brightness positivity ignites a tiny flame of hope in them to do better, to think positive, to have faith , to believe in themselves. So as your days passes by don't forget to be not rude, we all can have bad days bad times but don't you remember watching a kid enjoying his freedom in the rain or an elder man giving you blessing or some stranger passing you a wide smile wishing you a good day gave you the strength to live by those times.

Will you be my valentine?
Usually around this year pressure is at its peak. If you are single then you feel more lonely and if you are dating someone you feel coerced to buy the best unique and never gifted before gift ignoring all the facts like what one actually needs or what could actually make their life smoother or the fact that none of this is a measuring scale of your love. We have certainly succeeded in making a superficial day an important validation for our emotions that we hold for specially our partners. But why? Why only our partners? Why gifting? Why only this day?
Don't be that person who needs a particular day to express their love for someone. Dont be that person who knows only one meaning of love . Dont be the person who needs society's validation infact their partners validation too (because if your partner genuinely loves you , you won't have to try to get validation) . Hold depth , broaden your horizon . Spread love and affection everyday not only to your partner but to everyone that you come across everyday. Pass a smile, be generous, be kind , be respectful. Dont believe only in receiving but also giving , gift people you love your faith , your understanding, your time , your trust. Then you wont need a day to strengthen your bond or to express your feelings .

What is a women empowerment?
Is it working at odd hours or working at a powerful position or working as a housewife?  In our daily lives we come across a lot of articles talking about it but I believe it is more of flackery than it was really about! This movement is  about the inner strength that every woman holds, the light of knowledge that can ignite the world with great spirits. It is more about choosing to be whatever they want to become even if it means homemaker. It is about embracing womanhood and encouraging and letting other women know too that they are worth it, even if they don't hold any qualified degree they still have a lot to offer to the coming generation because their experience says it all. Whether from giving birth to a baby or to getting married to a man and accepting a whole new world with a smile or to become a perfect mother or to become a strict parent she knows it all. This power is about not treating a women on mensuration any different instead showing respect to their spirit , about how they work with same stamina throughout even when they are having hormonal imbalance. This movement it not only restricted to education but also body type, a woman to be able to dress whatever way she wants, to choose any body type she wants, to get her hairs coloured or to have no hair at all. Everything should be her own choice and not something this society expects her to be like. People body slam women for not having thigh gaps or for having flabs of fat or stretch marks and still willing to wear swim suits. The society needs to stop pressurising women to be the perfect image because apart from the gender we are humans too! and darling we want to make mistakes a lot of them and learn from them not judged? But can a woman afford to make a mistake? will she be given another chance? a chance to not be so perfect?
Everyone wants to talk about powering woman but what about teaching not only men but some women too that woman can commit mistakes, they can be drunk at night but you are not supposed to take her advantage instead act sober and make her reach home safely, to stop looking at woman as a sex object and rather try to know her in depth, get to know her from the inside, the person she is not just her body, that raising a baby is not only her duty but his too, that adding someone's surname after their name is not only two words joined together but two relations that have to be equally balanced and to keep it balanced is his and hers duty. We are so much caught up in this movement that we fail to recognize the one in a million man that we might have met in our lives. This movement is not about hating a particular gender or fighting over who gets the best but about equality and it can only prevail if both the sides do their part.